This is a lot like season four of Hawaii Five-O, except that one episode where the governor calls up McGarrett because one of the guys on his Thursday night bowling team has got a scrotal fungus that has seeped into the sheetrock of every government building in Honolulu and set up a command and control center from which it has issued directives to television evangelists to begin talking a lot about Avery Schreiber cock spum ointment, which the scrotal fungus is marketing in local pharmacies and supermarkets, but this little kid buys a tube of it, and his Dad finds it and jerks off to some gay fisting porn, and his neighbors see him because he forgot to pull down the blinds, and they call up a Christian counseling service, but then that guy comes over and starts jacking off too, and the entire neighborhood ends up flooded with man cum and Avery Schreiber cock spum ointment, so McGarrett doesn’t have time to substitute at the bowling alley on Thursday night, so he asks the governor if they can postpone it until the following Monday, but the governor can’t do it, because he has a meeting with Avery Schreiber where they’re going to talk about rezoning the sports arena so they can turn it into a cock and ball meat canning facility for export to the planet being run by Dabs Greer, assuming Chin Ho can get the spaceship built in time, but he’s having a labor dispute.
Of course, the labor dispute you allude to has its origins in the strikes initiated by workers at Walter Brennan’s Milwaukee butt plug manufacturing facility. Fortuitously, the facility was located less than a block from the corporate headquarters of PoopDogHatCo (famous for creating the Vienna Sausage Log, which was made from raw slices of Jesse Helms’ dick and Worcestershire sauce), the esteemed company that often supplied strawberry-flavored anal lube to the steering committee of the National Right to Life organization, whose members were known locally for their ability to tie their dicks into a double-overhand knot and whose rectums usually housed up to half a dozen Brennan butt plugs, in extra-large size. As you know, when the strawberry crop failed in 1934, Brennan attempted to substitute yak semen that had been dyed bright red for the customary ingredient, only to be confronted by members of Local 359, the Felching/Fudge-Packers Smegma Blossom Union, who smeared their ball-sacks with Pork ‘n Beans gravy that was subsequently licked off by Paul Ryan and Mitch McConnell when they were on their way to the mall that was anchored by Mark Meadows’ new homo-fuckery. BTW, I can totally get behind Uncle Tom Tom’s plan to market the Melania Artificial Cooter-Spout (with Rotating Vibra-Squirt Action). If you’ll write him a check for five dollars, I will gladly pay you back on Tuesday.
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