At one point during my teenage years, ALL these posters adorned my bedroom walls simultaneously. Music, hot chicks, and being cool were the primary motivators here.

First off we have the ADORABLE Angela Cartwright from Lost in Space, who was my MAJOR crush for years.


This poster, a black-light beauty titled Gypsy Girl, marked my slow transition from dork to doper.


Jane Fonda. Barbarella. Under the sheets with the lights off. Often.


After Angela Cartwright, Julie Christie filled my teenage libido with rocket fuel.


Another black-light special. Peter Fonda in Easy Rider. Smuggling drugs on a chopped Harley. That’s what I wanted to do when I grew up.


Fathom. Raquel. Love the teaser.


This came in a vinyl box set that chronicled the closing of Bill Graham’s immortal venue. Although this was a bit later than the mid-60s Fillmore poster pinnacle, I thought the art was pretty cool.


Gidget. Sally Field. Number 3 after Angela and Julie.


Jacqueline Bisset. Number 4.


My ears were telling me that there was stuff going on toward which I should pay STRICT attention!




I had this one because … well, I fucking wanted to be cool didn’t I? And what’s cooler that flowers, love, and Mahesh Yogi? Well, lots of shit … but what the fuck did I know then?


This one was my prize exhibit. Hung it upside down at the head of my bed so I could …. you know. Racquel in One Million Years B.C.


Got this from those bitchin’ poster ads that National Lampoon used to carry. My Mom always commented on her dirty feet. Called Cattle Baron for some reason.


Yummy Nums!!!!


I just wanted to mention today that I made some potato salad and, although I was out of mustard, it turned out pretty yummy you fucking TURD-BRAINED motherfucking, cock-sucking, STUPID ASSHOLE EATING, BUTT-BREATH whigger-shitters. You fucking SHIT-GERM-in-your-cocks, ATE-UP-WITH-THE-DUMB-ASS, shiny-bolt plumb-bob shyte-huffers can all suck my fucking DICK with supremo NASAL GLANCE hip-shot MASTURBATOR-KIT on a fucking DAYGLO cooter-wharf, you asshole, dick-shitters. YOU ALL FUCKING SHIT DICKS OUT OF YOUR ASSHOLE’S PUSSIES, you wimp-fucked shit-conniving, TURD-KNOCKERS!!! I’ll KILL ALL OF YOU stupid, dumb-ass, FUCKSHITBUTTCUMs. You’re ALL nothing but test-tubes full of virulent, amoeba-felching PINK DISEASE-CARRYING spoor-phagocytic fucking NOCTURNAL PARASITE FUCK-SHITS who wouldn’t have the fucking BRAINS to shove shit into their DICKS on a fucking BET, you GODDAM worm-dicked Lice-Fuckers. You are the LOWEST LIFE FORMS on this fucked up PLANET you SMELLY, cast-off WHORE BUTTS! You are the most completely FUCKED UP and COVERED IN SHIT BUNCH OF WHINY SISSIES and PANSY-ASSED butt ‘n nut huggers I’ve ever had the SEVERE DISPLEASURE to encounter in my ENTIRE FUCKING LIFE, you baby-shit eating, dead wino diarrhea-drinking, Felch-Worm-Camba-Cunted, GODDAM ASSHOLE FUCK, molten fart-garbage-in-a-grease-trap fucking, SUCK-YOUR-MOTHER’S-COCK, fucking stupid fucking ASS-FUCKERS!!!! You ignorant lap-fuck-vomit cooter juice spazzes are, without a fucking DOUBT, the MULE-DICKIN’-est, FART-TONGUE snot-fucking, grunt-spaz-butt-blowing, HIJOS de FUCKING PUTAS THAT HAVE EVER EXISTED SINCE TIME BEGAN. When Wotan breathed life into your putrid excuse for an earthly pale, he fucking PUKED SHIT for TEN MILLION TACHY-EONS! He was so fucking DISGUSTED with your VERY PRESENCE that he had to create GIGA-TONS of BUTT-FUCKED SHIT in order to have something to SHOVE INTO YOUR WEEZLE-SIZED PECKERS, you low-life, WHOREBUG, shit-eating, motherfucking, cocksucking BOBBIES. FUCK YOU, EACH AND EVERY ONE. I’ll give you the recipe if you’d like it.

Oh My Fucking God Is This Guy STUPID!!!!


OK, so there’s this shitty metalcore band called Attack! Attack!, right? I mean they’re REALLY shitty. And they had this bass player named John Holgado, right? And Mr. Holgado quits the band because he might be a homo and couldn’t train a puppy in three days and because his parents were either shitty to him or they weren’t, right? WHAT THE FUCK? This guy is BEYOND fucking STUPID! He’s barely on intelligence quotient par with a slug’s alimentary canal. Does a slug even have an alimentary canal? Well, don’t ask John because HE’S A FUCKING MORON! Don’t believe me? Check THIS out!